


24 Things Tony Has Told Steve

by shrill_fangirl_screaming



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Fluffy, Lists, M/M, Tony Stark spouts random facts at random intervals, listfic, little dash of angst, made for STAC 2013, random facts, since when do people give me hits in the thousands oh my god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-21
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2017-12-15 15:43:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/851247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrill_fangirl_screaming/pseuds/shrill_fangirl_screaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Steve's relationships, as told by random facts spouted at Steve by Tony. Winner of the 2013 SteveTonyFest fic contest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	24 Things Tony Has Told Steve

  1. “Actually, spiders are the fastest land animal proportional to size.” (retorted in the Helicarrier, when Steve said modern jets were faster than cheetahs, response: an incredulous stare)  
  

  2. “Nope, cell phones were invented two years after you checked out, Capsicle.” (spat in Avengers Tower, when Steve referred to his cell as ‘newfangled’, response: “Not this one, I bet.”)  
  

  3. “Octopi have better camouflage than chameleons.” (whispered while staking out a villain, when Steve wished he was part chameleon, response: “You get the point, Stark.”)  
  

  4. “Sarcasm and irony aren’t synonyms.” (shot back in Avengers Tower, when Steve said Tony should change his name to Irony Man, response: “That’s your defense?”)  
  

  5. “All the dinosaur sounds in Jurassic Park are animal noises merged together.” (shouted at Steve during Avengers Movie Night, when Steve said the dinosaur noises were stupid, response: “Seriously, Stark, why do you spout these stupid little facts to try and look cool?”)  
  

  6. “Pupils dilate when we see someone attractive because of dopamine.” (whispered during an Avengers team meeting, when Steve walked in shirtless, response: Steve didn’t hear.)  
  

  7. “I don’t hate you.” (barely spoken after a major battle in New York, when Steve asked at the top of his voice why Tony hated him, response: first kiss)  
  

  8. “Horses can’t throw up.” (blurted in a horse drawn carriage in Central Park, when Steve entered it for their first date, response: “What?”)  
  

  9. “This grass isn’t native to America.” (said on the National Mall, when the Avengers were given medals of valor, response: “… why, Tony?”)  
  

  10. “If sharks stop moving, they drown.” (murmured in an ear in an aquarium, when Steve was staring at the ceiling of the shark tunnel, response: “How do they sleep?” )  
  

  11. “The first Ferris Wheel was in the Chicago World’s Fair in 1893.” (stated behind a pair of county fair tickets, presented for their first monthiversary, response: “Guess they were old even my first time around, huh?”.)  
  

  12. “Male lions kill cubs sired by other lions to protect their line.” (whispered in an ear in the zoo, when they were admiring the lions, response: “Seems pretty mean”.)  
  

  13. “The first webcam was invented so people could see if the coffee was ready.” (moaned into his first cup of coffee, when Tony and Steve were the first two up one Sunday, response: “Are you pulling my leg again?”)  
  

  14. “Baby elephants suffer from PTSD.” (muttered into Steve’s chest after a nightmare, in Steve’s room in the Tower, response: “I’m sorry- I should have been awake, I should have helped some-“)  
  

  15. “There are 1665 stairs in the Eiffel Tower.” (texted to Steve on their first anniversary, accompanied by directions to his hiding place for two airline tickets, response: “Can’t wait to climb them with you”. Tony ditched his meeting and ran home after that.)  
  

  16. “It took three years to get that hair.” (whispered to Steve around a mouthful of popcorn, when they saw Brave, response: “Jeez. That’s a long time for hair.” Tony flipped his in response.)  
  

  17. “Dark chocolate contains the same chemicals that your brain releases when you fall in love.” (said quietly in a dark room, after their first fight, response: “Tony, I’m sorry.”)  
  

  18. “The sentence ‘I never said she stole my money’ can have seven meanings, depending on which word you stress.” (told to Steve in Tony’s shop, when Steve said Tony kicked everyone out using the same three words and eight different meanings, response: “Nerd.”)  
  

  19. “’Nerd’ was invented by Dr. Seuss.” (retorted to Steve, in response to the interaction previous, reply: “Bet he doesn’t like it being used as an insult, then.)  
  

  20. “You burn more calories by sleeping than by watching TV anyway.” (muttered into his pillowcase, when Steve tried to lure Tony out of bed with Doctor Who, response: “You spout random facts just to be obnoxious, don’t you?)  
  

  21. “Tony Stark spouts random facts when he can’t think of something clever to say.” (slurred to Steve from Tony’s bed, when accused of saying random facts simply to be obnoxious, response: “… oh.”)  
  

  22. “The Tesseract was pulled out of the water the same day I was born.” (said quietly to the ground, holding Steve’s hand in their room, response: a comforting squeeze of the hand.)  
  

  23. “Dad said that was the day he got two things that weren’t Captain America that should’ve been.” (barely whispered, forced out because he owed Steve this, response: a kiss of his hand.)  
  

  24. “I love you.” (said into Steve’s shirt, during the biweekly Avengers Movie Night, response: “I love you too.)




End file.
